Premiership round up - Week 8

Bolton v Spurs - 2:2 - Spurs had never beaten Bolton at their home ground before, and also failed at this attempt. The game did not start well for Spurs, Gardner scored for Bolton in the 4th minute and Spurs hardly saw the ball, let alone had it, for the first half hour. But Kranjcar levelled the score in the 34th minute with Spurs' first attempt on goal. Bolton looked confident and in control but as the game wore on Spurs became more lively and threatening, Crouch missed an opportunity and Davies snatched Bolton's second goal in the 69th minute, almost walking the ball into the net. Defoe came on (despite his dislocated fingers) and Crouch should have scored (but didn't) from a Defoe attempt. Corluka saved Crouch from too much embarrassment by scoring Spurs' second goal with a decent header with 17 minutes to go, in the process becoming the 12th person to score for Spurs this season (they've only played 8 games!). Crouch had another chance and showed fine control, as usual, but to no avail due to good goal-keeping. Bolton are tough at home but Spurs would probably not have earned the draw last season. So, a good game with honours even, but Spurs need to do better in such games if they are to demonstrate top 6 credentials.

Man Utd v Sunderland - 2:2 - Owen and Ferdinand were injured or resting, but ManU can afford to sideline a few players without weakening their side to any great extent. Nevertheless, after 6 minutes Bent did what seems to come naturally to him these days and rocked ManU with a fine strike into the corner of the net. Berbatov's goal was even better (50 minutes later), with a half bicycle kick (a unicycle kick, perhaps?). Kenwyne Jones had a good game that got even better when he out-muscled everyone in Utd's box to score Sunderland's second. Deep into stoppage time ManU got their equalizer (o/g, Ferdinand). Despite significant further ManU effort the game ended in a draw. Your Ear likes Jones, and the style of play that follows from having a solid centre forward to lay off balls and trouble defenders merely with his presence. Sunderland's Richardson was sent off (two yellows) with 5 minutes to go (plus 4 minutes of extra time). Your Ear thinks he was unfortunate and it is time referees started differentiating between the important and unimportant things in the game. Richardson certainly kicked the ball away, but it was in the direction the free kick given against him was to be taken from. Officialdom should get to grips with the dangerous play that can cost footballers injury or even their careers before making silly decisions like this one. A wagged finger would have done. The sending-off changed the face, and possibly the course, of the last few minutes of the game. And inevitably posed a question - would a ManU defender have been sent off in similar circumstances? Your Ear would hope so, but a niggling doubt remains.

Wolves v Portsmouth - 0:1 - Intense Portsmouth pressure eventually broke through Wolves' defence to take the lead (Yebda, 15 mins from a good cross). It took this goal against to get Wolves going, which they did, but a gritty Pompey defence kept them out. Wolves were denied a stone cold handball penalty and David James was busy for the rest of the game. But Portsmouth held it together for their first win of the season. AT LAST.

Hull v Wigan - 2:1 - chances, some better than others, were missed at either end, but Hull fired in a strong header (Vennegoor of Hesselink, 60th minute). Geovanni made it two with Hull in the ascendancy (68th minute), the first time since January Hull have scored more than one goal in a league game. Wigan almost got back in the game with 4 minutes to play (Sinclair, header) but could not catch Hull. A bad game for Wigan, overall. Hope for Hull? Your Ear thinks not.

Burnley v Birmingham - 2:1 - Burnley started well but it was Bowyer who missed an early sitter for Birmingham. After 53 minutes Fletcher broke the deadlock, scoring with a coolly taken effort from 30 yards and was unlucky not to double his tally a few minutes later (off the post). But it was the big centre-back, Bikey, who got Burnley's second with a good stand-up effort in the 62nd minute. Larsson got one back for Birmingham with the last kick of the game, but Birmingham never really looked in it. Burnley are doing exactly what the pundits say is necessary for the weaker teams - shore up your position and future by winning home games and hope for the best (ie try to nick a few) away. Birmingham might profit from taking such advice themselves. Birmingham's manager, Alex McLeish, said this was the worst Birmingham have played in any game this season, failing to react on going one (and then two) down. As MoTD pointed out, Burnley are a Jekyll and Hyde team when it comes to home and away performances. At home they have played 4, won 4, scoring 7 goals and conceding only 2. Away they have played 4, lost 4, scoring no goals at all and conceding 14! Quite a difference and something for either a) the sports psychologists to get their teeth into or b) the statisticians to explain away. Or maybe they have one talismanic supporter who can only attend home games…

Chelsea v Liverpool - 2:0 - the home side got the metal to the pedal earliest but Riera nearly scored from a long range free kick in the last minute of the first half. Chelsea moved the ball around better and after an hour's play, having dispossessed Liverpool, Anelka's pace gave him the space to score an uncomplicated goal from Drogba's cross. An opportunity was missed by Gerrard who was given a yellow card shortly after (foul on Lampard) and Drogba nearly scored from the resulting free kick. At the other end Torres scuffed a shot off target. Liverpool tried to keep their attack going but Malouda scrambled Chelsea's second goal in the first minute of extra time, again from a cross by Drogba. Today Drogba won the Drogba/Torres 'who is the best Premiership striker' competition comfortably. Chelsea are 5:1 up in terms of managers over the past 5 years - Rafa has seen them all come and go. Reflecting on the match he said 'When you go behind and you want to change things you have to score a goal.' Perfect football logic. Like last season, Liverpool look as though they will be in big doo-dahs (relatively speaking) if they lose Gerrard or Torres.

Everton v Stoke - 1:1 - Stoke have not beaten Everton in 27 years, and things have not changed. Everton old boy Beattie had the first attempt on goal but got no power behind his header. Stoke preferred to play deep and to defend, and kept out several half chances for Everton. Stoke's patience was rewarded when Huth scored his first Stoke goal (header, 50th minute). Everton continued to press up-field and 5 minutes later captain Leo Osman's accurate shot into the top left corner of the net scored the equalizer. Cahill nearly scored a header and Yakubu nearly laid off the ball for Saha. But the game ended in a draw.

Arsenal v Blackburn - 6:2 - Last season Arsenal beat Blackburn 4:0 twice, but Blackburn looked ominous (to Arsenal fans) from the outset and squeaked a header over Mannone to go ahead after 4 minutes (Nzonzi). In reply Fabregas nearly did the same thing at the other end from Arshavin's cross, but the ball went over. Matters became a little tense for anyone sporting a red shirt but Arsenal needn't have worried, Vermaelen thundered in a cracking shot in the 17th minute (that's 5 goals in 11 games and most of them crackers). For a while it was all Arsenal but after half an hour Diouf cleared, almost from his goal line, and Blackburn (Dunn) scored a good, although deflected, breakaway goal to regain the lead. Arsenal were only behind for 2 minutes - Van Persie scored emphatically to level the game again and only 5 minutes later Arsenal went ahead (Arshavin - no defender can relish seeing that little man running at them). Blackburn did not give up, though - Dunn should have been given a penalty (A rsenal should also have had one later) and Olsen struck the ball harder than most people would believe possible from 40 yards, forcing a fine save from Mannone. But eventually the weight of attack applied by Arsenal told and Fabregas cooly scored Arsenal's 4th goal in the 57th minute. Theo Walcott came on for first time this season with 20 minutes to play (absent though back injury) and 5 minutes later became the 15th person to score for Arsenal this season after Arsenal penetrated Blackburn's defence with ease. Bendtner made it 6 in the 89th minute with a fine shot. Blackburn played well, but were outclassed. Thierri Henry was in the stands to see his old club play - he probably remains a good luck charm, as he nearly always was when he played for them. Once again, a margin of 4 goals.

West Ham v Fulham - 2:2 - Both of these teams were in the bottom 3 (only Portsmouth below them) at the start of this game and West Ham still is, which shows (Your Ear believes) that the league has a lot of settling down to do before we begin to see who might be this year's winners and losers. Carlton Cole likes playing against Fulham (apparently) and tried to get his revenge in early, but his power shot missed. He did not miss his header from Diamanti's whipped in free kick, though (following a heavy challenge on Flaubert) - an excellent take. West ham kept the initiative and Fulham's defence looked rocky, but they kept the Hammers out. Then an unfortunate altercation occurred between Scott Parker, who was incensed to get a yellow card, and recent South African transferee, Kagisho Dikgacoi, who was dumbfounded to get a red one (following linesman's comments). Not a nice way to end your first game for your new club and it looked nothing more than 'handbags at 3.32' to Your Ear, but officialdom knows best. On the other hand, when the odds are against you, sometimes providence takes a hand and Fulham soon won a penalty (stupid shirt-pull by Upson). Murphy duly scored (47th minute). Koncheski nearly rolled in a long free kick which went just wide. Zoltan Gera thought he had settled matters with a well-taken volley in the 57th minute but a wicked deflection (downright diabolical, according to Roy Hodgson) allowed Stanislas to equalize in the 2nd minute of extra time. Some of you will remember that last season Your Ear revealed Zoltan Gera (a clumsy anagram of Gerant Zola) to be (possibly) the illegitimate offspring of one Gianfranco Zola, sitting on the opposite bench. 'Dad' was not best pleased! Fulham should try playing with 10 men more often.

Aston Villa v Man City - 1:1 - An important match - Villa trying to remain a top six club, City anxious to prove themselves a top four side. Plus two players facing their old employers, Gareth Barry, former Villa captain, a City player since his £12m move in the summer, and Richard Dunne, former City captain, now a Villa stalwart. And Adebayor, back from suspension, with nothing but humility in his heart and love for his opponents, as long as they don't make him see red. But fact often surpasses fiction, and in true Boy's Own style after 15 minutes Dunne, later named as man of the match, rose above Barry to pump a header past Shay Given. He didn't celebrate (just like Adebayor!), and some City fans applauded their former skipper. It took City half an hour to get going but Tevez 'put himself about a bit' to no avail - a text comment to the Beeb suggested that the busiest people in the ground were those throwing Tevez' missed shots back onto the field. Villa led at half time and for half of the 2nd half (quite a lot of halves, in all), but City upped the pace and managed to equalize with a well-worked goal (Ireland - Adebayor - Bellamy). Villa managed to retain their title to meanest defence in the Premiership (only one per game conceded) and the match ended in a draw. The conclusion drawn by Your Ear? Villa are a top six club, City are not a top four side.

Unlucky For Some? - Neil Warnock in The Independent on Arsene Wenger's 13 Years in the job - Wenger recently became Arsenal's longest serving manager, having clocked up a baker’s dozen in service. Warnock believes Wenger has changed the face of English football and that his influence reaches as far as League Two. He has made even the 'dinosaur managers' realize that they must take new things on board, such as technology, fitness regimes, fitness coaches and psychologists. Wenger has extended footballers' careers by two or three years; thirteen years ago players would never have looked after themselves as they do now. It's not so long since players would have steak for a pre-match meal. Now their diet is designed for the purpose. Well done, Mr Wenger. Wonder what diet Giggs is on. Carrot juice, no doubt. Warnock concluded that he would 'like to see Arsenal toughen up a little when they play the top sides, because I really don't think there's much between them, and Chelsea and United.' And Liverpool?

National Headlines (to keep us in perspective) - I'm A Little Teapot, Here's My Spout - Tim Montgomery, a Tory blogger commenting on the difficulty in determining what David Cameron is all about; "I liken it to a tea-bag - until it's in the water you can't tell what kind of tea you're going to get." If current polls are correct it seems likely that said tea-bag (Cameron) will get thrown in at the deep end. Wonder whether he'll find the water too hot. Network Lawyers Up All Night After Letterman Blackmail Denial - '48 Hour' TV producer, Robert ‘Joe’ Halderman, pleaded not guilty to trying to blackmail chat show host David Letterman over sexual relationships with female staff. Letterman responded by admitting to most of the allegations on air (ratings for the show went through the roof). Letterman was quoted as saying: "This whole thing has been quite scary," as though this puts an end to the affair. But while he seems to be in no immediate risk of losing his family or his job, either Letterman or CBS may be open to sexual-harassment lawsuits. Carnival Starts As Rio de Janeiro Wins Olympics Vote - Barack Obama's dash to Copenhagen and last-minute rhetoric failed to win over the IOC. 'No, we won't.' said official. The Chicago Tribune (Chicago came 4th) declared the result a "serious loss of face" for the president, while the conservative-leaning Drudge Report's banner headline gloated: "The ego has landed, world rejects Obama." Ireland Ratifies Lisbon Treaty - Turnout high on crucial referendum - Taoiseach welcomes 2:1 ‘for’ result - 'They bored us into submission,' said ex-'no' voter. ‘Si d'abord vous ne réussissez pas, essayez, essayez et essayez de nouveau,’ a Brussels spokesperson was reported as saying. ‘Deux fois, ça suffit, un morceau de gâteau,’ she added. London Evening Standard To Become A Free Newspaper - Russian billionaire owner, Alexander Lebedev, is unconcerned at potential lost revenues and believes circulation will double. Your Ear will now be forced to stop using it as toilet paper, one can only have expensive newsprint hanging in the smallest room. England Humiliated In Champions Trophy - England won the toss, but Australia won the game, beating England by nine wickets. However, cries of 'Give us our Ashes, yer pommie bastards!' fell on deaf ears.

Football Headlines - Berbatov Promises To Run Faster - Manchester United star Dimitar Berbatov today undertook to run faster during matches to dismiss home fan claims that he 'just strolls about'. Adebayor To Return To Arsenal? - After being let off with a £25k fine (about 2 hours pay) for 'improper conduct' Emmanuel Adebayor confirmed his determination to return to play for Arsenal. The Togo star says it is 'the least he can do' and that he might as well play for his 'dear old club' whenever he is suspended from Manchester City. 'It was all a big mistake,' he added. Fans are expected to welcome him back with open arms. Allardyce Jaws Fused For 24 Hours - Fire brigade summoned to prise Big Sam's mandible from his maxilla. which were welded together by excessive use of chewing gum. 'It was touch and go,' says veteran firefighter, 'one of the toughest jobs we've been faced with lately. Luckily, we had a lorry jack with us.' Mr Allardyce was not available for comment. Government To Nationalize Cash-Strapped Pompey - 'We can't have national institutions like this fine club going under purely because of a few rash management decisions and a total lack of funds,' says No 10 spokesperson. 'Portsmouth players are really suffering, just two of them are owed £3m - the British taxpayer cannot stand by and look on such hardship without taking action.' Ferguson Misquoted - When he was reported as saying (before the match) that Sunderland were 'nothing but a lousy load of crap', he actually said they were 'not about to lose without a scrap'. Ancelotti insists Abramovich Happy With Chelsea’s Start To Season - After 10 out of 11 wins and despite poor form in two recent games Carlo Ancelotti insists Roman Abramovich is satisfied with Chelsea's progress this season. 'Nuff said.

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