Premiership Round up Week 6

West Ham v Liverpool - 2:3 - Hines should have scored for the Hammers, a let-off for the scousers. Benayoun is on top form at the moment, the ball seems super-glued to his boots, just like Kanu a few years ago, but he missed his chance. Torres didn't miss and scored a top-drawer goal, back to (nearly) his best it would seem - at any rate he does not look tired at the moment. Hines then got a penalty (for what would, in olden times, have been a fair shoulder charge) converted by Diamanti with a terrible penalty kick. Still, they all count, even this one, though it was claimed to be a double kick. Gerrard was credited with Liverpool's second although Kuyt scored it. Carlton Cole equalized with a magic header - and all in the first half! Torres scored Liverpool's third goal (another header) and that was largely that. In the end Liverpool were just too good for the Hammers, who were by no means disgraced - afterwards Zola was generous, as always, to both his players and to Liverpool.

Burnley v Sunderland - 3:1 – Much Sunderland effort in the first half proved fruitless. Burnley were awarded a penalty and Alexander converted it, a lead Burnley retained despite more pressure from Sunderland until Bent scored in the 39th minute (that's 5 for Bent so far this season and he should have scored again early in the 2nd half). Against the run of play Nugent scored a skull-cracker for Burnley to go ahead again and then again with a good strike to increase their lead. Burnley did well but Sunderland were by far the better side. Still, as we all know, in football the best side does not always win.

Arsenal v Wigan - 4:0 - A few Arsenal chances went begging until Vermaelan (Arsenal's new Belgian import) scored a clean header. Vermaelan's second goal was even better, surgically precise. Eboue made it 3, Fabregas 4. Wigan were all over the shop whilst Arsenal could have scored double their tally, or more. Smiles all round at The Emirates.

Aston Villa v Portsmouth - 2:0 - Villa scored from the spot after a clumsy challenge by Portsmouth's Belhadj. Agbonlahor showed strength, pace and a little sliding luck to score Villa's second. Portsmouth worked hard but could not break through. You probably know but Portsmouth now hold the record for the most games lost in a row (6) at the start of a Premiership season. It's about the only record they are likely to hold this year (unless it gets worse). Villa continue to look strong and purposeful.

Hull v Birmingham - 0:1 – There were scoring chances at either end but good defences and goal-keeping kept the sheet clean. Birmingham got their noses in front in the 75h minute (O'Connor) and stayed there. (Ed. Correction - the last report incorrectly spelt Benitez Chucho's name as 'Chu-chu’. Apologies. Your Ear still thinks he's no dummy). Hull are struggling and there seems no hope in sight for them But where there's life… At this point in last year's season Hull were in the top 6. They finished in the bottom 6 (17th in fact). Now they are in the bottom 6 (19th). I wonder what odds one could get for Hull to do the trick in reverse this year and finish in the top 6? I think I’d keep my fiver in my pocket.

Bolton v Stoke - 1:1 - Lively play by both teams but the initiative was seized by Stoke's Kitson with an excellent finish. Bolton had chances to gain parity, including at least two open goals, but could not take them. They needed to win and convert a penalty to equalize and Taylor duly scored. Stoke could have nicked it, but it ended in a draw. Despite getting the draw with seconds to spare in the game Bolton supporters booed their side off the field - the press say Megson's days are numbered.

Man Utd v Man City - 4:3 - This game had it all, beginning with Rooney’s superb poacher's goal in the second minute. City's defence were out to lunch at the time. Profiting from some great work by Tevez, Barry equalized for City after Foster, United's keeper, made a beginner's mistake. This was swiftly followed by another piece of poor play - a bad back heel by Rooney allowed Tevez a free shot which hit the post. Fletcher scored a soft goal at the start of the second half (a header) but Bellamy's equalizing shot only 3 minutes later was brilliant, the best of the lot. ManU applied a lot of pressure but Shay Given dealt with it well. Berbatov was denied two good heading opportunities before being substituted for Owen. Fletcher scored again, another header, to make it 3:2 but Bellamy got a second, after a daft mistake under no pressure at all by Ferdinand in the 89th minute. But in a true fairy story, Owen snatched the winner in the the last second or two of extra time. Phew! It's amazing how top-flight professionals make such fundamental errors, but they do, and City were presented with two of their goals as gifts. On the other hand, if Adebayor had not been suspended (for GBH on Van Persie last week) the result might have been reversed. Despite Your Ear's reservations, and the fact that ManU were the better side, City were never out of the game. A final moan - why are supporters so rabidly anti ex-players – it seems a United fool threw a coin at Tevez. They should understand that players, with few exceptions, (just like clubs) are mercenary. And quite right too, they have to make the best of their brief careers (see later).

Chelsea v Spurs - 3:0 - Chelsea nearly started well with a thumper by Bosingwa, but Spurs also had their chances through Defoe and Huddlestone. The deadlock was broken after half an hour when Ashely Cole buried a header for Chelsea. Spurs should have had a penalty (any impartial observer would agree that Carvalho brought Keane down). Although Chelsea were the stronger side it is on moments like this that games pivot. Following this refereeing cock-up Ballack scrambled a goal in the 55th minute putting Chelsea two ahead. Drogba got Chelsea's 3rd (his 99th for the Blues) through another scrambled egg effort, but it was good goal, well provided by Lampard. There were lots of injuries in this game, none caused by malicious intent. King was hurt again, a hamstring rather than his knees this time. Bassong knocked himself out tussling with Drogba and was stretchered off and hospitalized. Drogba was also injured later, appearing to pull a leg muscle. As things stand it’s ManU or Chelsea for the title, although Liverpool…
Everton v Blackburn - 3:0 - Saha scored a no-nonsense goal to get Everton off the mark after 22 minutes. Diouf did well to give Blackburn an opportunity, but much mayhem in the goal-mouth came to nothing. Saha looked well on top of his game to score again for Everton. Yobo scored another, making it three for Everton in the first 10 minutes of the second half. Robinson showed great athleticism to keep out a fourth. Big Sam was not overly happy with Blackburn's concentration and effort, Everton back in the groove.

Wolves v Fulham - 2:1 - Wolves harried Fulham, denying them any opportunity to put their game together - it was an hour or so before they managed to get their first shot on goal. Wolves’ first goal (Doyle, 18 minutes) looked a bit like one of those skipping stones thrown on the water - a long throw was followed by two headers in quick succession - and then a splash. Edwards got a second for Wolves in the 50th minute, then Fulham scored from the spot (Danny Murphy) in the 67th minute. Frantic stuff ensued for a while but Wolves held on for a well-earned first Premiership home win. Wolves displayed good energy levels throughout, while Fulham maintained their lackadaisical and poor away form.

Granny's Sight Restored With Tooth Implant - An American grandmother, Sharron Thornton, was left blind for nine years after a rare disease scarred her cornea. But doctors in Miami made history by extracting one of her canines (an eye tooth, appropriately), and drilling an optical lens into it before installing it in her reshaped eye socket. Sounds gruesome, but it worked. Granny Thornton is the first person to have this procedure. After two weeks she could read the newspapers again, although not everyone would count that a bonus. Now, if we can put them where we like, Your Ear can suggest various places for football teams to have some teeth installed. Perhaps to fill the holes and get some bite into Arsenal's defence, a return to the style of play made famous (or infamous) by Norman 'bites yer legs' Hunter (for younger readers a Leeds and England player of the 1960s and 70s). Or to install some wisdom into the madness that is Portsmouth, or to unleash the dog(teeth) of war in Fulham (etc). As to precisely where teeth could be removed to, they might try inserting some in the backsides of various commentators and pundits, as this is where they generally speak from (no, no, I shall name no names). And Ledley King's knees could do with a transplant, although they might need his entire mouthful to effect a repair. Lastly, perhaps we could use them (transplants) to cure referees’ poor sight, with a view to reducing bad decisions, although thinking again, that’s as improbable as hens’ teeth.

A life less ordinary - A recent Radio 4 programme dealt with the extravagant lifestyles of footballers. Premiership players can expect to earn around £15m over a 'normal' career, which ends around the age of 33. They usually earn more in a week than the PM (including expenses!). Most live such protected existences that they rarely exit their sporting world without experiencing a few blows to the psycho-system, including a 75% divorce rate within the first 3 years. The more they earn the more footballers drift away from the lives of ordinary mortals. For example, the current generation are in the habit of taking private jets to move around, allowing them to use small airfields by arrangement, avoiding fans and the press. Understandably, footballers are cash-rich and time-poor, so they frequently employ people to manage their affairs. David Beckham is clearly no mug and led the way. He has a large staff who look after his finances, sponsorship and other business deals, his social life and, importantly for him, his PR. A few footballers do less than the obvious things with their money, such as charitable and youth initiatives, but most depend on advisors. Which is not surprising, given that most of them are recruited as youngsters and could hardly be described as worldly-wise, except, perhaps, in their own sphere. As we learn from the press, footballers often fall foul of drugs and alcohol and are prone both to gambling and excessive behaviour. What is less well-known is that footballers are often targetted by fraudsters (particularly so-called builders) and that in towns and cities lucky enough to host a Premiership team (far-flung places like Manchester and Liverpool, for example) a fair part of the luxury goods industry, particularly luxury cars, is dependent on them. Being sheltered from the 'real' world they often prefer to put their dosh into things they know and understand. Property investment has therefore proved to be popular and some footballers have invested so heavily in real estate that they become known (and derided) for it. In Liverpool, where property used to be relatively cheap, fans would sing ♫We all live in a Robbie Fowler house!♫ (to the tune of 'Yellow Submarine') to Fowler, who owned 'huge swathes' of the city. Wonder if he still does. Peter Crouch has a staff of seven who attend to his financial and social needs - no chance of his mum failing to get a birthday card or a restaurant table not being booked when required. He also has a dry wit - asked what he would have been if he had not become a footballer he replied; 'A virgin.'

The Ear – all the news that's fit to spout.