Week 5

EAR 'ERE!

Man City v Arsenal - 4:2 - Gallas missed a good chance and City fluked an early lead (Almunia o/g). Even without Arshavin, Arsenal looked the better side in the second half. Van Persie equalized in the 62nd minute but his game was not improved when Adebayor stamped on his face (for which he should have been sent off). Bellamy scored City’s second goal. Then Adebayor scored again in the 80th minute and celebrated with an 'inflammatory' run towards the Arsenal supporters for which he was booked. Wright-Phillips made it 4. Rusitsky got one back for Arsenal at the end. 100% record for City but Your Ear remains deaf to any arguments that City look convincing. Arsenal, however, have no defence.

Spurs v Man Utd - 1:3 - A goal by Defoe in the first minute, with a bicycle kick - nice one. Giggs equalized with a good free kick that Spurs should not have conceded. Berbatov looked sharp but skied a chance. Anderson put Utd ahead with a good strike. Jenas nearly equalized (but didn't). Crouch put two over the bar with his head (Oi! - one a week or you’re out!). Scholes was sent off for two rash tackles - nothing new there, particularly as he gets older, I'm sorry to say. But Utd did not seem to worry about being a man down and Rooney, who played very well, made it 3.

Stoke v Chelsea - 1:2 - Chelsea's defence was on another pitch when Stoke scored the first goal. A near record 8 minutes was added to extra time to the first half (following injuries to Stoke's Beattie and goalkeeper, Sorensen). Drogba only needed 3 of them to equalize with a thumping strike. Chelsea applied relentless pressure in the second half and finally broke though with about 20 seconds left in the game. Still, the Stoke crowd were happy (to begin with, at least) singing; ♫You're not signing any more, You're not signing any more!…♫ to Chelsea - wonder whether they knew (or cared) that it was an anagram of the usual ‘You're not singing any more!’ The word ‘defenestration’ means the act of throwing something, especially a person, out of a window, as depicted in the painting; ‘The Defenestration of the Commissioners at Prague’. The Independent used this term to describe Chelsea being thrown out of the next two transfer windows by FIFA (for illegal machinations in persuading French youth international Kakuta to break his contract in order to join Chelsea). Abramovich seems almost relieved, being about to shell out about £250m for his newest yacht (4 of 4). It’s a hard life, having to think up names for all those boats.

Portsmouth v Bolton - 2:3 - Cohen scored a net-breaker to give Bolton the lead. A great header by Kaboul drew Portsmouth level. Portsmouth should have gone ahead a couple of times but a dodgy penalty decision allowed Bolton to score again. Boateng equalized for Portsmouth but Bolton nicked it with only a couple of minutes to spare. Hard to feel sorry for Portsmouth but they were out of luck today.

Blackburn v Wolves - 3:1 - Wolves gave away a simple goal to Djouf. Much Blackburn pressure eventually resulted in a second goal (Roberts) and then a third (Dunn), although Wolves retrieved one through Maierhofer's late strike. Wolves need to step up a gear if they are to remain in the Premiership.

Liverpool v Burnley - 4:0 - Burnley beat Liverpool in 2005 in the FA Cup, but there was no sign of them doing it again (unlike at ManU). An irrepressible Benayoun scored an early goal for Liverpool and nearly scored again but the rebound was taken by Kuyt to make it 2. Gerrard should have had a goal (well saved by Jensen). Benayoun made it 3 and should have had a hat-trick but was mistakenly given offside. He got it later, anyway.

Birmingham v Aston Villa - 0:1 - could have gone either way but Abonlahor's goal in the 85th minute settled the derby. It's not unusual to see a goalkeeper flattened in the box, but it happened to Hart, Birmingham's goalie (on loan from Man City) in Aston Villa's goal mouth when he ran up-field to try to assist in a late corner. The last 5 minutes plus extra time were worth the ticket alone. Villa look determined, more like last season. Birmingham were resilient in defence but lack a penetrating attack although Benitez Chu-chu, Birmingham's late sub, is no dummy (sorry!).

Fulham v Everton - 2:1 - Cahill's (offside) bullet header put Everton ahead, Duff (signed 2 weeks ago from Newcastle) nearly equalized but Koncheski (newly arrived from Portsmouth) did the business for Fulham. Then Duff did what he had threatened to do before and Fulham took the lead in the 79th minute. Despite Everton's frantic efforts Fulham managed to hold on for their second win of the season, which hoiks them up to 10th in the table, whereas Everton still languishes in the bottom 3. Only Portsmouth have failed to win a point so far, but then, they have no players!

Sunderland v Hull - 4:1 - Bent scored from the spot for Sunderland after a silly handball incident. Zayatte levelled the game for Hull but Sunderland (Reid) regained the lead. Bent thumped home a third and Turner headed home a pile-driver to put the game beyond Hull's reach. Bent seems to have found his feet (a good thing for a footballer to do, really) at Sunderland - Spurs might regret letting him go, although St Hal knows what he is up to.

Wigan v West Ham - 1:0 - Carlton Cole thought he'd scored but he'd not heard the ref blow for half-time. Normally referees wait until the ball is out of play or the action is going nowhere - ending the half just as someone is on the point of scoring was mystifying, particularly to Cole, who had the good grace to laugh about it. Rodallega put Wigan ahead. Diamanti nearly scored a great goal for the Hammers, but hit the woodwork.

Cameras needed - England v Slovenia - This was a friendly, and to be fair Slovenia played better than a team ranked 54th in the world, and then, oh dear - a bad penalty for England - the ref saw something the TV cameras did not, no matter how replays were reviewed. The alleged offender, Bostjan Caesar, was injured, booked and subbed. We must have action replays soon to sort out such nonsense. We have cameras all over our streets, why not have them on football pitches (other than for TV), at least some would welcome them there. Moving on - if you want a goal give the ball to Defoe, who is in cracking form. I like Heskey, a typical England centre-forward, big and strong, but there was no doubt who would start on the following Wednesday. Meanwhile, Capello moves steadily forward in naming an entire England team with the surname 'Cole' (Ashley, Carlton, Joe). Any more contenders?

Money Talks - Last time Your Ear wrote about Sol Campbell moving to Notts County. Later I wondered what might have persuaded him to go there. Apparently the answer was £10m (silly me). And I had forgotten that Sven-Göran Eriksson was already at the club (at £2m pa). Big money for (effectively) the 4th Division. Although they are still losing games, Notts County 'are funded by the seemingly bottomless pockets of their Middle Eastern owners (Munto Finance)’. A bit like Man City, only City, unlike County, haven't lost any games yet. They will though. Sir Harold is reported as saying that if he had been at any other club he would have signed Campbell, but the fans at White Hart Lane would not have had him back after the way he left 8 years ago (on his way to the dreaded Arsenal, you will recall). Pity, this fan would, but Your Ear, ostensibly a neutral and independent observer, is probably not hardcore enough. Incidentally, Man City have just sold Kasper Schmeichel to Notts County. City seem to have more than their fair share of keepers at the moment. In any case, is Kasper a popular name in Denmark, or did his dad, Peter the Great, just like friendly ghosts? (Ed. - That was Casper the Friendly Ghost - do your research). It’s the Danish spelling.

The Ear – all the news that's fit to spout.